04 September 2018

Reversal Upon Reversal

While poor Goldsmith was thus struggling with the difficulties and discouragements which in those days beset the path of an author . . . .
– Washington Irving, “Oliver Goldsmith”

He heaved a discouraged sigh, and said, “It seems to me that this race is hard to please.”

There it was, you see.  He didn’t seem to know any way to do a person a favor except by killing him or making a lunatic out of him.  I apologized, as well as I could;  but privately I did not think much of his processes–at the time.
– Mark Twain, “The Mysterious Stranger”

Two months ago I assembled quite a lengthy list of maybe’s, but now, most have them have simply blackened out to nope’s.  It is not pig-headedness, but mere cool appraisal, if I report that I do not find fault in the music which I have sent.  But, that’s as may be:  it is others who are benefiting from the performances and the prize moneys.  I wish them well.

As I have found my circumstances this August, some of them unusual in either kind or degree, not conducive to completion of the Shakespeare scena, I reached the regretful decision to push it off again.  This may look like writer’s block, but I believe it to be otherwise–I have the materials ready to be shaped.  The time is out of joint.  My catalogue is deep enough that a Plan B for next month’s date at King’s Chapel is not at all difficult to form.

Some of my difficulties might readily be solved, if I could teach at a college;  but I have repeatedly found my attempts there, too, rebuffed.  I do not think there is any hope to be nurtured on those lines, not though I was told at the conclusion of my pre-concert lecture on 19 August that I ought to teach.  Talent for teaching, and a proven facility in composition, won’t get me anywhere there.

Triad is currently facing fresh challenges, but I am confident we shall meet and crush them.

However, Thursday is our first choir rehearsal of the season, and I have pulled music aplenty.  The rehearsal will be fun.

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