The master, upon this, put his hand underneath the skirts of his coat, and brought out his flute in three pieces, which he screwed together, and began immediately to play. My impression is, after many years of consideration, that there never can have been anybody in the world who played worse. He made the most dismal sounds I have ever heard produced by any means, natural or artificial. I don’t know what the tunes were — if there were such things in the performance at all, which I doubt — but the influence of the strain upon me was, first, to make me think of all my sorrows until I could hardly keep my tears back; then to take away my appetite, and lastly to make me so sleepy that I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
Dickens, David Copperfield
A Dance Floor for the Introverted, Op. 178 № 2 in rehearsal
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