Best Get the Ax

With thanks to Matt Sharp.

Variation on a Doggerel

Peering at the beach through the knothole in Grampa’s wooden leg,

Who parked the shore so hard against the ocean, the ocean?

Best get the ax, there’s a hair on Baby’s chest.

And my sweetheart’s gone for I cannot say how long. 

The cows made a sound, four feet upon the ground.

Honey, it’s too late to wind your wristwatch.

Oh! Who will milk my cows when I'm gone, I’m gone?

Feed the baby garlic, to find him in the dark. Will Grandma's false teeth soon fit Lizzie, fit Lizzie? 

While walking in the moonlight, the bright and sunny moonlight She kissed me in the eye with a kiwi, a kiwi.

A snake has no hips, so he wears no belt,

Nor shoulders, so no braces, neither,

 No wonder, no wonder that he knots his cravat ‘round his middle, his middle.

Leaning out a window, a second-story window, I slipped and sprained my eyebrow on the postman, the postman. Go get the mouthwash, sister’s got a beau, and a kiwi, a kiwi.That meddlesome boy’s let the snake’s wristwatch run down.

Best get the ax.