tchaikovsky & bacchus
critiquing the coup
as a dangerous fracas
who is she, you wonder
this goddess of thunder
who seldom comes over
but never bows under
she dances, she whistles
she softens your thistles
she hopes that they won’t use
their nuclear missiles
she pines & she wishes
she feedses the fishes
she hints to you gently
to towel the dishes
she rough-sketches dancers
she focuses trancers
she shuts down tough questions
with definite answers
she carves & she whittles
she hashes mean victuals
the rich & the famous
she blithely belittles
she surges, she hastens
she sorts seedless raisins
she calls out for pizza
for plumbers & masons
she files & she ratchets
she buries the hatchets
she boosts tiny tims
and engooses bob cratchets
she contacts & touches
she cradles & clutches
she gives out in littles
but takes back in muches
she cuts & she shuffles
in late march she snuffles
she goes out for mushrooms
but comes back with truffles
she chickens, she livers
she canyons & rivers
she quickly picks up
what she slowly delivers
she twigs & she savvies
she tories and lavvies
she salts down the tars
& entrenches the navvies
she sees through your ruses
& combs out your mooses
she seems to think even
your faults have their uses
she cuffs & she fetters
she worsts & she betters
she miscarries numbers
& silences letters
she cools, she refreshes
your screens she unmeshes
at christmas she dusts off
& lights up the crêches
she seals and she otters
she parboils the waters
she unfloods the brothers
but dams up the daughters
she burs & she rankles
she diesels & wankels
she trusses up oedipus
rex by the ankles
she struts & she poses
she uncoils your hoses
she speaks well of florists
with odd-colored roses
she stammers, she stutters
she boils & she butters
nobody is certain
she means what she utters
she fawns & she flatters
she sputters & spatters
her mind cannot focus
on sensitive matters
she parries, she slashes
your turnips she mashes
she tends to your fevers
& weeps at your rashes
she leafs & she pages
her book never ages
she seldom collects
on another man’s wages
she upsets, she steadies
she pilots the eddies
in vain might you seek
to undo what she readies
in spaces she shuttles
in fishtanks she cuttles
on tv she withers
dan rather’s rebuttals
she babies & sissies
she manners & missies
she wonders what joyce meant
by writing ulysses
she heartily humbles
she tastefully tumbles
in some seats she loves
but in others she rumbles
she lads & she lassies
she tinnies and brassies
she slams down your hoods
& checks under your chassis
she blotches, she mottles
she daubs & she wattles
she carefully rinses
returnable bottles
she dervishly dizzies
she bustlely busies
she whirlingly woodies
& diddies & izzies
she soaps & she bubbles
she trebles & doubles
an ed she might norton
but barneys she rubbles
she goodies, she baddies
she clubs her own caddies
she reels in the sporrans
of incautious laddies
she ifs & confuses
but hardly abuses
she may say she offers
but you know she chooses
she fusses, she cossets
she fills up your closets
she loosens your neckties
& tightens your faucets
she kicks & she freezes
she floats on your breezes
she fuses your tofu
with pasteurized cheeses
she coupons, she rations
she fruits & she passions
she dresses your words
in preposterous fashions
she foxes, she weasels
she canvasses easels
she russians & polishes
low german measles
she crayons, she pencils
she scours utensils
she labels your tables
with yoghurt & stencils
she hawks & she eagles
she leashes fierce beagles
she upgrades your princelies
to unabashed regals
she christians, she pagans
she twists & she fagins
she troubles the naps
of the bushes & reagans
she bites & she scratches
she plays with long matches
she breaks in your doors
despite all of your latches
she flosses, she brushes
you hate when she rushes
she smiles when you stammer
you cringe when she flushes
she jigs & she dadoes
she scrubs your potatoes
you might say bahamas
but she hears barbados
she labors, she studies
your throw-rugs she muddies
she chastens your friends
& exposes your buddies
she hymns & she shakers
she oats & she quakers
she measures cathedrals
& silos by acres
she buttons, she stitches
she patches your britches
she dumps your old t-shirts
in gullies & ditches
she dwindles, she tapers
she mummifies capers
she launders on sunday
while reading your papers
she waters & dredges
& trims all your hedges
you sharpen your points
but she dulls all your edges
you long for her kisses
& conjugal blisses
she rarely takes aim
but she seldomer misses
she showers, she sprinkles
she squirrels & minkles
she tacks twenty years
onto sleepy van winkles
she sands what she spackles
she flies what she tackles
she asks you to purr
after raising your hackles
she tells off her cousins
& aunts by the dozens
she mixes her izzens
& werens with wuzzins
she maddens, she crazes
she mists & she hazes
she follows the moon
through its difficult phases
she wanes & she waxes
she duties & taxes
she buries your office
in overlong faxes
she lectures, she teaches
she peels & pits peaches
she yawns while the congressmen
polish their speeches
she curls & she crickets
on unlikely wickets
she burns up your popcorn
& scalps off your tickets
she bracelets, she lockets
she shores up your pockets
she raises your countdown
& unskies your rockets
she quiets & shushes
she waits in the bushes
she claims that you pull
all the while that she pushes
she funnels, she beakers
she heckles guest speakers
she capsizes boaters
& waterproofs sneakers
she hardens, she cinches
she pussyfoots inches
she separates lovebirds
with hydraulic winches
she plucks & she feathers
aparts & togethers
she scales & weighs fish
in the foulest of weathers
she seconds the hours
& petals the flowers
she leaves you in pickles
and stems your hot showers
she scatters, she gathers
she squeegees, she lathers
on sundays in concord
she cottons & mathers
she tugs & she barges
retreats & recharges
her view of the world
almost never enlarges
she puffs & collapses
in methodist apses
she unmelons waters
& unberries raspses
she blubbers, she sniggers
she cowers & piggers
she fleeces the sheep
of their facks & their figgers
your motives she guesses
& boldly confesses
she knows of your sallies
& lucies & besses
she irons & creases
your nephews & nieces
she ruins your jigsaws
by losing key pieces
your inner & outer
are often about her
you hope you may not have
to live long without her
12-24 May 1994
5 comments:
I gather the speaker is quite taken with the lady.
And could you blame him?
Cheers,
~Karl
It must be quite a lady to inspire such a tour de force!
Thank you kindly, Johan! When I read it now, I wonder that I wrote it. But then, I check the date, and it was just a few months after Maria and I were married . . . and she has always inspired me to better work than I knew I was capable of.
Cheers,
~Karl
Fabulous! Might this be someone I have met?
- Hermanzoon
(At sometime in the past I had a blog and a blog/google account name and password, but I can't think of it now, so I am "anonymous".)
Post a Comment