31 August 2013

An Unexpected Journey (Tweets from Middle-Earth)

Jacksonized Tolkien + exposition = a kind of death (not the pleasant kind, either)


Bilbo is writing to Frodo, who lives in Bag End w/ him. Yet the famous start of The Hobbit is presented as explaining a hobbit-hole to Frodo

Oh, look! Something else which is entirely different to what Tolkien wrote.


First "regurgitation," now "parasite." Accumulating a list of Words Which Don't Belong in Middle-Earth But Jackson's Screenwriters Were Too Tone-Deaf to Know It

. . . "academic," another word no dweller in Middle-Earth would speak


Okay, I admit I'm disappointed in screenwriters who don't understand the difference between Tolkien and Marvel Comics as source material....

And, ladies and gentlemen, Bilbo's finding of the ring? Why tell it the way Tolkien told it? Absolute cinematic rape.


A pathologic incapacity for fidelity to the source: Peter Jackson

Gollum is suspicious of what Bilbo has in his pocket, BEFORE he realizes that he's lost the Ring? Are the writers *utter* dolts?


It's getting so I can't distinguish between Grunge Thorin and Pouty Aragorn . . . .

Ah, the line, "You've got to be joking"! If I've read that once in Tolkien, I've read it a dozen times. That, and "dwarf-scum."


Happily, I reached a point in the DVD where I could fast-forward with no fear of missing anything of consequence.

The pièce de résistance? Thorin hugging Bilbo. Oh, my left eye is going to tear, no, I mean it.


Oh, and Smaug sounding like the shut-down of an Evinrude.

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