Smooth Jazz recipe:
1. Pour jazz into a bowl.
2. Extract jazz rhythm; replace with pop rhythm.
3. Add extra backbeat.
4. Whip until smooth.
5. In a small pot, boil solos until they’re soft and have turned the color of Don Johnson’s T-shirts in Miami Vice. Strain and remove.
6. On a cutting board, cut boiled solos to approximately ¼ normal length.
7. Blend into whipped mixture to a smooth, even consistency.
8. Scoop into small desert dishes and chill in the refrigerator for roughly 20 minutes.
9. Start the Jacuzzi and change into your Speedo. Enjoy!
It’s me that’s been a-doggin’ your shadow.
It’s me that’s been a-shadowin’ your dog.
— 10cc, “Iceberg” (How Dare You!)
Time to stop this dreaming,must rejoin the real world
As revealed by orange lights and a smoky atmosphere.
— Phil Collins (with Genesis), “Heathaze” (Duke)
[It] caused a friend to say that I must have been having tea with Debussy.
— Ralph Vaughan Williams, of his own string quartet,
written on returning to England from Paris in 1908